You probably know one. You may even be one. If you are like me, it’s not something you can relate to when it’s as repetitive of a habit as changing your socks. Here are some reasons a woman is unreliable and ways to handle it without a headache and some laughs.
They struggle with saying No. Yes, there are women who just can’t say no without apprehension. They seem to think they are somehow less disappointing by agreeing to do something they can’t actually do. This could be due to schedule, disorganization or they just simply aren’t interested. I have so many people try to get out of obligations they have agreed to with excuses at the last minute. It lets me know they never wanted to be bothered in the first place because they look for every reason for you to say “oh that’s ok”. But you know what’s really fun, every now and then don’t let them out of it. It’s comical to watch someone trying to squirm out of their duties and you not let it go. Like give them all kinds of passes. Like “oh no…I know I said I needed it yesterday but go ahead and take your time. You can almost see them frown via email or phone. But here’s the truth-a straight no leaves a better taste in your mouth than a yes obligation not met. Trust me-the people you let down will thank you later.
They just don’t care. This is the norm I run into. They don’t value your time or you. I know you are saying well how do you determine they don’t care? Well for one they don’t explain, have remorse or try to make amends PRIOR to causing a calamity. They are not the least bit concerned with what this mishap has done to your schedule. For example, Jane knows her part of your dual report for your boss is due Thursday. She knows she won’t have time to finish it on Monday because it is too involved and she can’t rush it because she hasn’t even gotten started yet. But instead of letting you know this, she waits until either you email her a reminder on Thursday morning or worse she turns the entire report in on Monday without so much an explanation to you or your boss. Or maybe the explanation was so lame it wasn’t even worthy of being mentioned like “The dog ate it Thursday morning”.
They are a hot mess of disorganization. They are so super unorganized that they don’t even realize how many people they disappoint because no one “checks them”. Their enablers give them passes, overlook it, or they are unorganized too and don’t want to point the finger. This can also result from bad staff. And not knowing you have bad staff is a sign of disorganization. If you don’t know your assistant sucks at replying to emails, or that your PR person don’t follow instructions or meet deadlines or that your secretary regularly forgets to give you messages then you need some office checkpoints incorporated in your work flow. Your assistant can only be as good as the systems you have in place and they mirror your behavior. You have been enabled to continue with the same bad habits. As in no one has ever dealt you with any repercussions directly to effect change in your behavior. Or perhaps it has affected you in ways you don’t know. Your reputation may have taken a hit and others have not sought you out due to what they heard about your missed deadlines or inability to complete tasks as directly. Maybe someone asked for a reference and they had to be completely honest, “Jane is nice and all but she never reads or follows directives and it takes her 10 days to reply to email”.
Whatever the reasons behind the low scores on the Reliability Test, you have to learn to deal with them with ease. First as the quote says, “Once someone shows you who they are-believe them”. It’s really simple. I tend to not want to have any dealings with anyone who lets me down where they are given the opportunity to do it again. I don’t join group or joint ventures, when a part of that group I already know is an epic fail. My blank stare at references for my opinion on dealings with others usually is an indication that I won’t be able to give an opinion on whether a colleague should invest in some big project with “Letcha D. Alot”. (Yes I have given them a name:).
So don’t let the LDA’s get you down. Just learn from it and keep it moving. And this isn’t just in business-oh yes this applies in your personal life too. Friends, Family. I have learned to be as unavailable for everyone as they are for me. I am the “you can call me at 3 am for a rescue from the side of the highway” type but after you realize people are just not that available for you then you learn to shift your availability factor. You aren’t so quick to run to the phone, return the call because they take 12 wks. to return yours or only call when they want something. In the words of Beyoncé, “I ain’t thinking ‘bout chu.” Well now off to be productive and get this post up. Or maybe I will miss my deadline….