Being an Unreasonable “Nasty” Woman
Being an Unreasonable “Nasty” Woman
By Mari Selby
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, “Well behaved women rarely make history.” There is a long list of women who have made history by not being the obedient daughter, or the barefoot and pregnant wife, or the stay at home sister. Sacagawea became famous because she did not listen to her father who probably said, “Don’t go with those men.” Harriet Tubman became famous because she refused to be an obedient slave, and instead spirited other slaves away. While Sojourner Truth is famous for giving a speech where she said, “Ain’t I a Woman”? Eleanor Roosevelt created a whole new image of what a First Lady could be, “A Woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.”
For the first time in history a woman is running for the Presidency here in the U.S. When I first saw Hillary Rodham Clinton walk down the Capitol steps at Bill Clinton’s first inauguration I burst into tears. I had no idea who she was, but I knew she was a powerhouse. Today young girls actually believe that a woman can be a president. When I grew up I was told that a woman’s place was by her man’s side. Instead of following that mandate I have done my best to be an unruly, “nasty” woman.
Who are your inspirational role models? Perhaps they are an inspiration because they refused to do what they were supposed to do, and instead followed their consciences or their intuition. The change we want to see in the world is up to us. As women we are more than the peacemakers, the nurturers, the cheerleaders, and the child bearers. We can be the strong backs, the compassionate warriors, the catalysts, healing witches, and uppity bitches. How much time do you spend caught in fear trying to figure out the “right thing to do” or wondering why your life is not as fulfilled as you envision? Instead challenge yourself by doing at least one scary thing a day, and see what happens. Maybe your fears will become less tangible, and your dreams more real than you ever thought possible.
I have spent too much time being cautious, and indirect, or trying to figure “it” out before I am halfway through doing what I am inspired to accomplish. Often I channel my creative impulses into communicating with an international circle of friends on Facebook. Those impulses support my passion of making a positive difference in people’s lives, and being one of many lights transforming the world into a more humane and loving community. Some days I have to dig deep to find the inspiration to work for myself, write my columns, be a part of a family, as well as be of service in my community. Other days, I am totally confident that the best I can do is better than I did the day before.
This week’s exercise has three parts.
The first is to read the following sentences from a fiction book, (The Cipher, by Diana Pharaoh Francis) the character Errol Cipher said, “Women are quite reasonable right up to the point where they become unreasoning, and then they do exactly as they wish without concern for the consequences. Men, however, have hot fierce tempers that burn out quickly. They are more easily deflected from their stupidity. Women are single-minded about it.”
The 2nd part of the exercise is to ask yourself, when was the last time you became unreasoning, and damned the consequences?
The 3rd part of the exercise is to write the experience down and then ask yourself 2 questions; how do you feel about what you did, today, and would you do it all over again?
Mari Selby is a contributing writer for San Francisco Book Review. For the past 18 years Mari has been the director of Selby Ink, a publicity and marketing firm. http://www.selbyink.com Selby ink promotes authors who make a difference, and helps those authors to develop name recognition through traditional publicity efforts as well as social media. Selby ink specializes in the following genres: body-mind-spirit, relationships, environmental issues, and social justice.
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