Sometimes we experience so much pain we find it difficult to let go. We find it difficult to forgive and move on leaving us stuck in a negative cycle. However it is we who are weighed down and filled with bitterness, resentment, anger, disappointment and regret whilst whoever hurt you is walking around as light as a feather or perhaps continuing to treat others in the same hurtful way. Why are we carrying around their baggage? For hurt and pain are only inflicted as a result of other’s insecurities. Ladies why are we carrying these bags??! What’s in the past is in the past and must stay there! This is easier said than done.
Sometimes we carry this burden- and believe you me I’ve carried a heavy load for a long, long time (probably the cause of my back pain)- because we are afraid to let go. We may feel that if we let go we are allowing the other person to “get away with it” or that we have become a “walkover” somehow by forgetting about it. But in essence what we are doing is quite the opposite; we are finally moving on without the load, without the negative thoughts and feelings eroding our backs, our emotions and our Souls. We also may feel that we cannot let go as we become quite nostalgic about the past. The abuse or pain we endured becomes less “valid” if we let it go. It defines us some way and we don’t want to forget it. But in actual fact what it’s doing is making us move slower, making us weaker, bitter and lonely. Let that traumatic and painful part of your journey not define you but serve as a tool to help you grow stronger and wiser, happier and lighter. Again easier said than done.
Remember forgiving does not mean forgetting. It does not mean letting them back into your lives with the same circumstances or at all for that matter. It means seeing that person as a human being who’s made some terrible mistakes but helped you grow in some way whether it be emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually. For in every challenge or difficulty there is strength and wisdom to be gained. It means releasing that person and their negative energy and negative situation you endured from your own and freeing yourself. It means forgiving yourself for not feeling strong enough, wise enough to react or act differently at the time. Once forgiveness is achieved we can finally take the next step to finding true happiness. Without forgiveness we will keep attracting the same circumstances, same lessons and same type of person into our lives until forgiveness is learnt. I talk as a lady who’s carried and dropped many bags in my lifetime!
Here are two of my favourite quotes on forgiveness
“Forgiveness is the choice to see people as they are now. When we’re mad at people, we’re focusing on something they said or did before this moment. By letting go of the past, we make room for miracles to replace our grievances.”-Miracle Cards- Marianne Williamson
“Forgive and forget all that has hurt you in the past and made you doubt your “lovability.” Realise that hurt and disappointment are inevitable parts of our human learning experience. No matter how painful, the real injury was not that someone didn’t cherish you, but that you erroneously believed you didn’t deserve to be loved.”- Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose Oracle Cards- Sonia Choquette.
For Forgiveness exercises have a read of Mr Wrong and Mr Wrong Work Book. For more information on The Power of Forgiveness check out Daniella’s 7 Steps to creating the Greatest Version of You workshop at www.daniellablechner.com
(you can buy signed copies of her books here too)
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