Taking Back the Power from Fear
Fear seems to be a natural part of too many lives these days.
There have been changes in the leadership of our country. During the past year and a half a lot of things have been said that have increased the polarity in the United States. There is a sense of uncertainty about what the immediate future contains for the United States. For all of us the question is now what kind of President will Donald Trump be?
- Which of the things he expounded about on the campaign trail will he actually implement?
- How will I, and the people closest to me, be personally impacted by his actions?
These are actually abstract fears. They can create an underlying tone to our lives yet they don’t necessarily direct our day-to-day behavior.
If asked what we fear the most we might say swimming, public speaking, or writing. However, these are just disguises for our real fear.
I used to think it was just fear of the unknown. In recent years I have realized that there is more to it than that.
We are afraid of how we will perform in unknown circumstances.
- Will we forget how to breathe in the water?
- Will we say something that embarrasses us or our family from the stage?
- Will we confuse the people who attempt to read what we have written?
Yes, the unknown presents multiple opportunities for our imaginations to create horrible ugly monsters out to destroy us. And, our imagination can just as easily create a lovely spring meadow full of fresh flowers, butterflies, and songbirds. But the greater fear is that some how, some way, when we try to move into this unknown space we will fall on our faces.
We often enjoy it when the other person becomes a clown in the eyes of the people around them. We rarely enjoy it when we are perceived to be the clown unless it was the effect we were after.
When in the grips of fear we become frozen, unable to move in any direction. We may say we are overwhelmed. We may say we have become bogged down in the details. We may come up with a hundred excuses for not taking action.
When caught up in this fear we need to find a way to release it.
When we feel safe we will try most anything.
How do we build in this sense of safety and send “Old Man Fear” on his way?
For me, that sense of safety comes from a firm faith in God and the Divine. (The name you associate with your faith may be different – the Trinity, the Buddha, a Higher Power. Most people have some belief in the core of their being that anchors them.) This faith lives in the depths of my heart and soul. But not always at the surface level of my mind.
So I go along functioning fine for a while and then I realize I am standing still. I can see what needs to be done; yet I can’t seem to do anything.
This is the time I take a couple of deep breaths and look closely at what is happening in my life.
And I start chanting the mantra that helps me to move forward: “It is safe for me to do this (thing) now.”
It’s most effective when I can say it out loud. I can hear and feel the shift in my voice as I repeat it. If circumstances don’t lend themselves to speaking the mantra then I say it in a whisper in my mind.
Sometimes I only have to say it once or twice. More frequently I feel like every other thought in my mind is this mantra – “It is safe for me to do _______ now.”
When I remember, I begin with “I am not alone.” followed with “Therefore, it is safe for me to ____________ now.”
As my belief in myself and my safety increases, I am able to move forward and do what needs to be done.
By believing in myself I take back the Power from fear.
Latest posts by Mary Lou Stark (see all)
- Moving Out of the Fog
Normally for me Fall is a time of new beginnings. School is starting up again. New goals are established. The skies are clear. - October 15, 2017
- Was Yours a “Normal” Family?
When I was growing up I thought TV programs like “Father Knows Best,” “Ozzie and Harriet,” and “Leave It to Beaver” were models of normal families. - August 15, 2017
- How to Use Your Words to Build Bridges Rather Than Fear
In today’s world speaking with respect seems to be disappearing. - July 15, 2017