Emily Vernlund’s fairytale childhood in North Dakota did not prepare her for the hurdles in life that came later, including a young marriage and a lupus diagnosis. But it was the loss of her mother that changed the course of her life and pushed her right into survival. Let’s meet her.
How old were you when you got married?
22
Looking back, do you feel you were ready for marriage at the time?
No. I think I thought it was what I was supposed to do at the time. We were happy and he took care of me, but looking back now I don’t know if we ever really truly loved each other.
When the marriage didn’t work out, did you find yourself sinking into any type of negative mindset about yourself?
Yes. Very much so. I blamed myself for everything. I felt unloved, unworthy, and utterly useless. Thankfully, I began going to therapy to get these thoughts reigned in.
Tell our readers about Midwest Cryo & Aesthetics.
I started MCA a few years back due to my health issues with lupus. What started out as just cryotherapy, has now blossomed into a thriving health and wellness spa that I could not be more proud of. I offer many services; cryotherapy, sauna services, teeth whitening, EMS therapy, red light therapy, spray tanning, lymphatic drainage, permanent makeup, and more!
What led to you creating your own business in the beauty industry?
My health. I was a teacher before I started this journey but my pain was so intense that it made it impossible for me to keep a regular job. My flare ups would leave me on bed rest and I was constantly in and out of the hospital. So, I decided to start looking into things that might help me with my pain and finances, and from there my business was born.
Were there any hindrances that you encountered early on in your business?
Absolutely! Finances were always a big hurdle. Also, self-doubt. That was a major struggle for me. I kept thinking that there is no way that I could possibly start and run a business! That imposter syndrome was very strong! Thankfully, I just kept going, one foot in front of the other.
Tell us about your journaling start and how it inspired your blog. Does the form of expression that is involved in both function as a form of healing for you?
I started journaling more intensely after my mom died. I felt like it was the only way I could truly get out all my feelings without any judgment or fear. It was the only way I knew how to process that tragic time in my life. From there, I realized how much I genuinely enjoyed writing, and then began my blog. Every time I posted a blog, it just kept growing and growing. I’ve received many messages from people telling me how my blogs have helped them heal so that makes me feel like this is a good thing. Writing and journaling is very healing for me, but my blog has shown me that it is also healing for others. So, as long as people continue to read what I write, I will keep writing!
Motherhood can be challenging. How do you balance your career with your home life?
This is a struggle for me and something I talk to my therapist about regularly. I wouldn’t say that I have it figured out yet but I will say that I have to literally mark time in my calendar to focus on just play time with my son. I have to physically make a point of that otherwise I would just work constantly. I love my career and my clients. I love it deeply and enjoy doing it, so that is easy to get caught up in. However, therapy has helped me realize that I need to slow down and enjoy the little moments, too. Even though it’s a little embarrassing to admit that I have to write down time slots on my calendar to make sure I’m setting time aside in my day for my son, it truly has helped me prioritize it better.
Do you have a strong support circle to help out in some of the areas of your life?
Yes. My tribe is one of the best. I rely heavily on my friend circle and I am so incredibly grateful for them. I have surrounded myself with other people who are also extremely focused on personal development and that makes a huge difference. I firmly believe that if you surround yourself with better people than yourself, then you will become better also. However, that saying works the other way too. If you surround yourself with negative people, for example, chances are you most likely will become quite negative too.
What lead to your lupus diagnosis? How did you feel initially based on what you thought lupus was? I know you were a schoolteacher at the time and that you ended that career in order to deal with your frequent healthcare issues but did you have a definite plan at the time or were you just taking it day by day?
I started to get really, really sick. No one knew what was wrong, but I was constantly breaking out in hives, my throat would randomly start closing, my joints would swell to almost double their size, my hips hurt so bad I walked with a limp. It was just one thing after another and none of the doctors knew what was wrong with me. I doctored for 3 years before I got my lupus diagnosis. They basically just ruled out other things until we narrowed it down to lupus.
I was scared at first when I got that call, however I also felt incredibly relieved. I felt seen. I felt like finally someone believed me. For a long time, I was accused of lying and doing this for attention. I’m not sure how someone can fake their throat closing though.
I began taking meds for lupus and I started to get better almost immediately. I cried for days when I started to feel better. When I woke up that first morning without being in pain, I cried for an entire hour. I had forgotten what it felt like to wake up without pain
and it was overwhelming.
I did not have a plan whatsoever when this all started. I just took everything one day at a time, kept working as hard as I could on my good days, and prayed like crazy all the other days.
You lost your mother to cancer as did I. How did that effect you? What did it change about you?
Everything. My mom dying changed the entire course of my life. I got sober, have lost 100 pounds, and am pursuing a new career path of public speaking and being an author. I knew that her death was either going to kill me or I had to make some major changes. So, I made the changes, and now my life reflects that. I knew I had to make her death mean something. I needed it to have some purpose. Now, it does.
Tell us about your book?
My mom came to me in a dream (after she had passed) and told me to go to NYC because she had something there for me. So, like a crazy person, I booked my ticket to New York and ended up being there over the 9/11 Memorial weekend. I met real survivors of that day and heard their stories. I didn’t intend on writing a book at this time, but something happened to me on that trip. I went there looking for perspective, and boy did I ever find it. I was grieving my mom so bad that I was battling my own suicidal thoughts at the time. The world just seemed so pointless without her in it. So, I needed to surround myself with an even greater sadness than I was feeling, and 9/11 was definitely sadder. It may sound weird, but seeing the pain from that day and meeting all those brave heroes who survived it, just woke me up. It was like a slap across my own face. If these people can survive that, I can survive this.
I wrote my book immediately after that experience because I never wanted to forget those feelings I had. Sometimes we all need a little perspective.
Why is mental health advocacy important to you?
Ten years ago, I tried to take my own life. I swallowed the pills, wrote the notes, and was ready to leave this world. Thankfully, God had other plans for me and I’m still here. Now, with how my life is, it’s hard to look back on that moment in time. It’s hard to believe that I was once that sad. I want to be an advocate for mental health because I am living proof that you can be saved! You can win this battle! You don’t have to suffer with those demons. There is help out there! I just want to be an example for people, like if she can do it then I can too!
Tell us about the solo trip to NYC that changed your life and how it shaped you moving forward?
That strip, still to this day, gives me chills. The way the entire thing came together blows my mind. I didn’t mention this part earlier, but I ended up meeting one of the wives whose husband was on one of the planes that flew into the towers. She agreed to meet up with me in person and I got to interview her. It was incredible. She completely blew me away with her joyful spirit and contagious smile. She is a hero, warrior, and a survivor. I dedicated my book to her and we are still friends to this day.
How do you restore yourself and heal from whatever new traumas that may come your way?
Therapy! I am a BIG advocate for therapy. I see my therapist weekly and I apply the things I learn there to every aspect of my life. Also, journaling is a huge form of healing for me, especially shadow work. Shadow work allows you to heal your own demons and find peace with them. That has helped me heal my inner child and also helps me parent my son better. Finally, nature is a big part of my healing journey. I’m obsessed with grounding, yoga, and just doing my breath-work all outside. That connection to your surroundings is so good for your soul.
What makes you happy at your core?
This could go a couple of ways. I have some very silly things that make me happy; creating reels, playing pranks on my son, and anything to do with my business.
Some very real things that make me happy are watching my son grow and learn, helping people heal, and finally loving myself the way I should have been loved before.
Describe home life today?
My home is very peaceful and I have worked very hard to create that environment. I grew up in a home that wasn’t always peaceful and it created a lot of anxiety for me. Now that I have a little boy, I don’t want that for him. I am big into feelings and talking things through so my son and I talk a lot. I am honestly incredibly proud of that. He will tell me when he’s mad at me, frustrated with something, sad, or whatever else he is feeling. My hope is that he learns how to effectively communicate so that he can be a better partner for someone someday.
When you look back over your life, what is one thing you are most grateful for?
My son. He makes me see life differently. He makes me work harder. He makes me constantly strive to be the best version of myself. I’ve never felt motivation like that before. I just view it as if I want him to have the best life possible, then I need to SHOW him how to do that. So, my son (along with my mom dying) helped shape me into who I am today.
Tell our readers how they can find out more information about you and your endeavors?
I love social media so I can be found everywhere!
- Facebook – Emily Vernlund
- Instagram – @Emily_Vernlund
- TikTok – @emilyvernlund
I also have a healing group on Patreon where people gather online to discuss future goals and we strive for them together!!
Anything to add/promote?
I sell adorable sweatshirts on my site that promote going to therapy and self-love! You can find those under the “shop” tab on my website: www.designbymca.com
Also, you can purchase a copy of my book, “Finding Perspective through 9/11” on my website as well!!
