MOTHERHOOD, MINISTRY & MENTORSHIP.
Paula McDade is a phenomenally selfless and creative woman who is destined to impact everyone she encounters from their core to their outside. Whether leading someone else to their own healing, bringing someone’s vision to reality or mentoring in her community, Paula is using the gifts she has been given to reach out and change lives.
Tell us about your mentoring work?
I began mentoring teen girls back in 2002 at a school where I worked in the after school program. That work eventually grew to encompass the entire female student body, where I served 3rd to 12th grade girls through our mentoring initiative called “Sista Circle”. In 2004, a colleague of mine convinced me to find a fiscal sponsor to provide nonprofit status for my mentoring work and I formed Aim for Success.
Tell us about your family/pets?
No pets, but my husband of 9 years, Charles and I do have a large blended family of 10 children and 13 grandchildren. Most of them are young adults and on their own with families. Not all of them live in our area, so we don’t have huge family gatherings very often. I would love to be closer to all of my children, but right now that isn’t possible. I am the oldest of four siblings (my youngest brother is deceased), but I have a younger brother and sister. There is never a dull moment as the parents of adult children, because now I can give them advice areas of their lives such as marriage and parenthood that I have already gone through. The grandbabies are simply the icing on the cake for me. We get to love on them, spoil them and give them back with their parents.
What experience or catalyst led you to address issues of abuse and trauma?
I chose to address those issues because I knew that there were other women and girls struggling to heal from the hurt of being abused. There is nothing like experiencing something major in your life and feeling all alone. Coming out to the world as someone who has been sexually abused as a child, wasn’t easy for me. In our family we didn’t talk about those things and it had always been the elephant in the room. Eventually the elephant gets tired of being restrained and starts to trample and destroy everything in its path if it isn’t allowed to roam free. That was how I felt. I wanted to be able to have a voice, to positively affect someone else’s life and not keep that awful secret while living in shame. The other part of the story is the after effect of depression and anxiety that I lived with as a result of stuffing my feelings. Mental illness affects more women and particularly women of color because we are taught to pray it away or just be strong and keep pressing forward. There is hope and treatment for those who really want to live a fulfilling life on the other side of mental illness.
When did you know you wanted to share your experience in order to help other females who have experienced the same?
I knew once I finally experienced enough healing of my own and I felt strong enough to empower someone else. When you travel in an airplane, the flight crew instructs you to put on your oxygen mask first before you attempt to assist children or other passengers. They tell you this because you cannot effectively begin to help someone else while gasping for air yourself. It is impossible to bring healing to another person when your wounds are gaping and oozing, but once you’ve been medicated and bandaged the healing process begins. That’s when you gain enough strength to be a lifeline for someone else. I was well into my 30’s when I really began to feel like this was my mission in life. Whenever I speak, I usually share a part of my testimony of healing and recovery from my past.
Tell us about a success story.
My success stories happen almost each and every time I conduct a workshop or speak at an event. Almost every time, a woman or young lady comes up to me and shares how my story has touched her in a profound way. I don’t take credit for those successes. I can remember conducting a tele-summit with a colleague of mine, where the topic was how to overcome obstacles and break through to a new level of emotional freedom. One of the participants was so moved by the information that was shared, she wrote and told me how her life would never be the same. These are the types of success stories that make my mission worthwhile. Money and recognition are great, but knowing that I can make an impact is all the success I need.
What is your favorite movie?
It would have to be The Color Purple. The story of a woman who endured so much tragedy in her life and eventually settled down into a beautiful, peaceful life was very moving. I enjoyed the colorful characters she shared her life with as well as her strength and endurance. That movie made such a huge impression on me because I truly saw myself in every female character from Shug Avery to Sophia to Squeak. One of the things on my wish list is to see the theatrical version on Broadway in New York City.
You grew up surrounded by a foundation of church/ministry. Now looking back do you feel this helped or hindered any part of your journey to healing?
I truly believe it saved my life growing up in church. I had a wonderful village of people surrounding me, although they didn’t know what was going on in my private life. They were the foundational pieces of community that caused me to experience some level of stability in life. Learning the word of God at such a young age provided me with the tools for ministry and for my eventual spiritual recovery. My faith in God is everything and during times of turmoil in my life, prayer has been my lifeline.
What does Paula do for fun?
I love going to thrift stores to shop for treasures. My husband is a real movie buff, so now I find myself enjoying more movies. Of course, spending time with my family is always a blessing, especially the grandbabies as much as possible. I also have moments where I can be really crafty, so I keep craft supplies around for such moments of inspiration.
Have you ever felt so filled with the issues of others that you needed to take a moment to regroup? How do you digest it all and maintain your joy?
Yes, especially because one of my strengths is empathy. I can sense and feel what others are dealing with emotionally at times and it can be very draining. I usually allow for some down time where I can just relax and rest to get myself recharged. I may sit in silence and just close my eyes or I’ve been known to just go to someplace beautiful and take a long walk to clear out the clutter. Music is a huge part of my life, and I often use it to soothe and recharge myself. Spending time in God’s presence with some worship music is a wonderful way to recharge my batteries. A good massage every once in a while also helps me relax. To maintain my joy I try to always find things to be grateful for and to notice the small things that God does for me on a daily basis to let me know I’m loved.
Name a woman you would most want to have lunch with (does not have to be celebrity based) and why.
I would want to have lunch with the First Lady Michelle Obama because I love her enthusiasm for life and her strong sense of self. She seems like a fearless mother, a powerful presence and a fun-loving person. I’m curious about her faith and what role that plays in her daily life.
Tell us about your upcoming book and graphic design business.
I actually have 2 books coming out. The first book is a co-authorship along with 20 other women. The book is entitled “Igniting the Fire: A Woman’s Guide to Setting Ablaze in Ministry, Business and Life”. The book covers the stories of women who have overcome challenges and obstacles to experience success in various areas of life. In the book, I tell my childhood story leading up to where I am today and how far God has brought me. That book is scheduled to launch in September along with the Igniting the Fire Conference in Biloxi, Mississippi.
I’m also writing a devotional for young women called “Captured and Crowned” to go along with the ministry I am launching by the same name. The devotional is geared toward those who have experienced trauma or abuse of any kind. It has journal pages after every passage so that each day, the reader can jot down any thoughts, impressions or nuggets from the days reading. It is scheduled for release in late May.
Stellar Creative, my graphic design business started after a prayer team prophesied about my creative gifts and said I had many creative gifts which I needed to be using for the Kingdom of God. I pondered that for quite some time before I took action on it. A year or so later, I found myself walking away from my job and starting the company. The rest is history. I’ve been blessed to work with some amazing clients to help bring their creative visions to life. What started as a hobby to help friends and family members with occasional projects, turned into a full time business. I’m fulfilled every day when I walk into my office and sit down to create a piece for someone. The business is growing at a rate where I really need to hire some help, so that is my next step.
What makes you a connected woman?
I’m a connected woman because I am first of all connected to my Source which is God, but I am also connected to some amazing and powerful women who provide mutual support as I make my journey.
What five words summarize your passion?
Determined, Bold, Unstoppable, Inclusive and Unapologetic
Where can our readers reach out to you?
- Facebook.com/paulamcdadecom
- Twitter @paulamcdadecom
- Instagram @paulamcdadecom
- Email: info@paulamcdade.com | Website: www.paulamcdade.com
- Ministry website: www.capturedandcrowned.org
What makes Paula happy?
Simple things, small gestures of kindness, beautiful sunny days, spending time with loved ones, being able to laugh at silly things – also, checking things off my bucket list!
What would you say to women who may be struggling with discovering or creating their true selves after a life altering event?
It takes time to recover from grief, trauma or other life changing events, because it took time to get you to that place. Don’t be afraid to do the work and don’t try to be superwoman and handle it all by yourself. God places people in our lives for a reason. Build and use a support system.
Anything to add?
Stay tuned…the story isn’t over, it has just begun!
All photos provided and owned by feature.
