In many workspaces, women of color already walk in with invisible weights on their shoulders—unspoken expectations, unacknowledged brilliance, and systemic barriers that force them to work twice as hard for half the recognition. But one of the deepest and most heartbreaking wounds doesn’t always come from racism, sexism, or microaggressions from outside their community—it comes from within, from women who look just like them.
When you’ve fought your way into a seat at the table, there’s an unspoken hope that those who share your culture, your struggles, and your lived experiences will offer a hand of support, not a knife in the back. Yet, too often, women of color find themselves undermined, excluded, and even actively sabotaged by others who wear the same skin, speak the same dialect, and understand the same struggle. It is betrayal wrapped in familiarity.
The Pain of Being Undermined by “Your Own”
There’s a specific kind of devastation that hits when the person making your job harder, stealing your ideas, discrediting your voice in meetings, or blocking your growth is someone who should understand. It leaves many women feeling isolated and confused. The emotional toll is heavier than if the sabotage came from someone completely outside their community. There’s disappointment, disbelief, and a painful question that lingers: Why would you do this to me when you know exactly how hard this path is?
This kind of betrayal chips away at trust. It breeds hypervigilance. It erodes the potential for solidarity in spaces where unity is power. Instead of a sisterhood, the workplace becomes a battlefield where only one woman of color is allowed to win—because the system only made space for one.
Rooted in Scarcity, Not Evil
Let’s be honest: these actions, while painful and damaging, are often rooted in survival, not cruelty. Many women of color have internalized the idea that there’s only room for one of us at the top. This is not always a product of their personal character—it’s a symptom of structural racism and sexism that creates scarcity and forces competition where there should be collaboration.
When institutions tokenize and treat representation like a quota, it sends a message: You’re lucky to be here, and even luckier to stay. That kind of pressure fosters desperation, not support. It fuels the idea that another Black, Latina, Asian, or Indigenous woman succeeding somehow diminishes someone else’s chance.
We Can’t Heal What We Don’t Name
To move forward, we have to talk about it. Not in hushed tones. Not in private texts. Loudly and without shame. Naming the harm allows us to address it—and prevent it. We must create space for honest conversations about internalized oppression, trauma, and the survival strategies that don’t serve us anymore.
HR departments must be trained to recognize not just external harassment, but internalized forms of sabotage and exclusion as well. Leaders of color must model inclusive success and make it clear that our rise should never come at the cost of someone else’s fall.
Rebuilding Sisterhood and Accountability
The future looks like women of color unlearning the myth of scarcity. It looks like amplification, not competition. It looks like calling out harm even when it’s uncomfortable—and extending grace and accountability in equal measure.
It means asking ourselves hard questions:
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Am I making space or taking space?
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Am I mentoring or gatekeeping?
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Am I projecting my pain or sharing my power?
We can reclaim the promise of sisterhood—but it has to be intentional. We must build work cultures where we aren’t just surviving, but thriving together. Because when one woman of color rises, it should never require another to fall.
To the women of color hurt by betrayal from those who look like them—your pain is valid. It is not in your head. It is not a petty grievance. It is a wound that deserves healing. And to those who have knowingly or unknowingly hurt another—there is still time to do better, to build bridges, and to make space for a new narrative where we protect each other as fiercely as we’ve had to protect ourselves.
We are not each other’s competition. We are each other’s legacy. Let’s start acting like it.
