Mary Firestone is a survivor combining her experience and expertise and sharing her journey of survival in her book, Trusting the Dawn. Her passion for helping others discover their own path to their healing is the foundation of her work. She is the
co-founder of Firestone Sisters, Inc. which gives her the space to expand her methods of healing through various events and products. Let’s meet her…
For some healing is about self-preservation, freedom, and restoration all in one. How would you summarize your own healing process and subsequent transformation after trauma?
For me, healing is an ongoing journey and process of transformation, integration, and celebration. Healing has been about discovering strong, resilient, and radiant aspects of myself while also allowing me to connect with others and the world more deeply.
Tell our readers about your clinical background in Psychology and how you integrated that knowledge into the lessons in your new book, Trusting the Dawn. Looking back do you feel that your background prepared you or totally went out the window when you experienced your own trauma and survival?
My background in clinical psychology both framed parts of my personal experience and also provided a jumping-off point to discover other radical and alternative therapies. I found that some of the labels used for diagnosis (PTSD, for example), which can be comforting and clarifying for some, to be limiting and frustrating for me. Yes, I was experiencing some of the textbook PTSD symptoms such as nightmares, anxiety and panic attacks, AND I was experiencing profound growth that I don’t think I would have discovered otherwise.
How can a woman take her own trauma and triggers and use them as a foundation for her continued evolution and healing?
Getting in touch with ourselves and our bodies by even becoming aware of our physical sensations (triggers) is the first step in becoming empowered. How can we step into our power if we are unconscious? So, step one is to connect with yourself and your body’s sensations. To begin to claim your body, your space. I’d suggest exploring the parts of the book on language and rewriting your story to go deeper.
What is one way a woman can turn her diminished power and soaring pain after trauma into healing?
Slightly alter the story around the trauma. For example, for me after the mudslide, instead of continuing to say, “I almost died in the mudslide,” I changed the story to, “I survived the mudslide.” It is a subtle yet empowering shift. We can begin to see ourselves as survivors rather than victims.
How long did your own healing take and what was your first step?
My healing continues! I think that’s really important to note, healing is an ongoing process but that doesn’t mean you are forever cursed/damned or damaged by PTSD. It means you have the opportunity through healing to connect to yourself, others, and life more fully and dynamically by having witnessed the fragility of life and embracing it. I found EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing therapy) an effective and empowering first step.
During your experience, when you thought you had lost your husband and son, what held you together?
I prayed a lot during that time. Amazingly, there was a bottle of Lotuswei essential oil on the countertop with me—I washed my hands with the little bit of water left in the pipes, pumped some essential oils in my hands, breathed them in, and worked to keep myself as calm as possible. I also felt a divine presence with me that was comforting and inspiring.
Did you have a strong support circle during this time?
I was fairly new to town and yet it was amazing how people showed up from all walks of life- my present and past, family, friends, and strangers alike. Having strong support was a massive help to my healing and I recognize for those without, I’m sure the process can be more challenging.
Did you experience any negativity in terms of people telling you when and how should heal or deal with your trauma? What advice would you give to someone who is trying to be supportive of someone with a similar experience?
Yes! I had a psychologist (not my own) in a social setting tell me I would be haunted by PTSD my whole life. I found it discouraging and now infuriating. I think the best thing to say to someone in the aftermath of trauma is, “I’m here for you. How can I help?” Or if you don’t know what to say, it is always better to just say that.
What are you most grateful for today?
My children who are full of love, sweetness and curiosity. They keep me very present!
Where can our readers purchase your book and find out more information on you and your endeavors online?
The book is available now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Target as well as at your local bookstore. My website www.maryfirestone.co and Instagram accounts @trustingthedawn2022 and @firestonesisters.com are the best way to connect!
