Dr. Shaneé C. Morgan found her purpose after climbing out of an environment of addiction and breaking the generational curses that would have halted the dreams of many. Instead, she focused on bettering herself, and furthering her education, and now can tell her story to inspire and motivate others to do the same. Let’s meet her…
As a child, you were exposed to many things that could have detoured your life and future success. At what age did you realize there was a struggle within your home and family? How did you as a child process this initially or was It your “normal” because you had not seen anything different throughout your childhood?
I was approximately twelve years old when it became quite obvious to me that there was a struggle within my home, which would eventually negatively impact my family. Though the challenges of living in a poverty-stricken environment was normal for me, initially, my mother was very good at holding things together. However, eventually she began to fold under pressure by becoming a product of her environment; resulting in her falling victim to the crack epidemic. Discovering that she was struggling with a drug addiction was very disheartening for me, but as a child I had very little control over the situation, so all I could do was continue to take care of my responsibilities, which mainly included attending school daily, and continuing to do my best at accomplishing personal goals that were attainable for me at that time.
Did you have any family members or role models outside of your household? Was there anyone who inspired you during that time to achieve more or on the other hand was your mother supportive but unable to break her own bad habits in the midst of supporting your survival?
Although I did not have any family members or role models outside of my home at the time, in the beginning, my mother was very supportive. She had high expectations for her children and she wanted the best for me. As a past college student herself, my mother was a strong advocate for education, and she was very strict in regard to making sure that I earned good grades and maintained respectful behavior in and out of the home. However, once she began to fall deeper into her addiction, her ability to support and nurture her children decreased tremendously. Eventually, I had to take the morals and values she instilled in me and learn to stand on my own two feet as it related to taking responsibility for my own future success, and my ability to apply the appropriate survival skills necessary to maintain my personal safety.
Many in their youth desire to better themselves and get out of environments that didn’t serve them whether it’s with sports, education or even joining the military. When did you realize that learning and education was going to be your way out? Did you have any support?
I always knew that learning and obtaining an education was going to be my way out because I was naturally good at not only attending school, but maintaining honor roll grades. As an over-achiever, I was always eager to learn and excel. Knowing that I wanted to change the trajectory of my life and become a successful adult, I understood the importance of maximizing my full potential with every goal that I set-out to accomplish. My motto soon became, “I don’t want to be ordinary. I want to be extraordinary.”
Knowing that society values education, and obtaining an education would tremendously increase my chances of becoming more knowledgeable and financially stable in the future, furthering my education beyond high school became my ultimate goal. Even though I did not have people around to support me, I was destined to be different from the negative influences around me, so I knew that I had to do different in order to break generational curses.
Did you ever feel like you were the only adult in the household and that in that realization, it was your responsibility to look out for everyone else?
Absolutely! At some point in my childhood and early adult life, I was challenged with being the burden bearer for my mother and siblings. According to my childhood friends, they “knew that I was the most responsible person in my home when I was a young teen.” I didn’t realize it was that obvious, until speaking with them after they read my personal memoir, and they began to recall events that we experienced as teenagers; such as when they visited my home.
Was your father in your life? Grandparents?
As a young child, I recall seeing my father once, when I was about four-years-old. My mother then relocated her and her children from San Bernardino California to Houston Texas, and I wouldn’t reunite with him again, until I was almost sixteen years old. As for my grandparents, my maternal grandmother passed away when I was a toddler, so I have no memories of her, and I do not recall ever visiting my paternal grandmother. She too passed away when I was a young teenager. By the time I returned to California she was gone, so I never had a chance to experience having a grandmother. My great-great aunt Mandy, who I speak about in my memoir, was the closest to having a grandmother for me. With regard to my grandfathers; my maternal grandfather was present and a part of my life growing-up. However, I did not have the pleasure of meeting with my paternal grandfather until I was about seven-teen years old. At different times in my life both of my grandfathers were very important to me. However, they both passed away during my early adult life.
Did you grow up in fear of others finding out about what you were going through at home and attempting to “help” by reporting it to the proper authorities?
I was never in fear of children services or law enforcement finding out what was going on in my home because we were raised not to trust the authorities even before my mother’s addiction became a factor, so my siblings and I were never going to report events that were taking place in my home, out of fear of being split-up and possibly being placed in foster homes where we could have experienced further trauma and possible abuse. As a matter of fact, many families that come from where I’m from were raised to mind their own business, and children understood the meaning of, “What happens in this home, stays in this home!” Not to mention, experiences like what I faced in my home was quite the norm for many families around me. Actually, at the time I was more concerned with my peers finding out what was going on because having what was referred to as a “crackhead parent,” was extremely embarrassing for any child. Today, as I converse with my friends about childhood trauma and adverse experiences, it has become apparent that many of them faced similar challenges as I did growing-up. Furthermore, I’m grateful that the authorities never became involved because I honestly do not think I would be the person who I am today had they intervened.
Did you ever experience any guilt about your success or struggle with family members perhaps placing a burden on you because you were dodging the generational curses in your way and moving forward?
Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say that I dodged generational curses because I definitely felt the impact of poverty and being a victim of childhood trauma and adversity, as a result of my experiences growing up. I just made the decision to make intentional efforts to prevent bringing
that type of lifestyle into my future. However, I never felt any guilt for taking accountability for the life I wanted for myself. The reality is, at some point everyone has the ability to take accountability for their lives and make decisions necessary to ensure their future success, so I will never feel bad because I chose to do exactly that.
Did you go to college immediately after high school? If so, was it a culture shock for you? In what ways?
Actually, I received a few scholarships and many college acceptance letters during my senior year in high school due maintain a high GPA. Although it was always my plan to go to college, if I recall, I think I may have taken a semester off. I then obtained my first job as a preschool instructor, and my aunt who was the Director at the time, kind of put pressure on me about getting enrolled into college. In fact, it was a requirement for me to complete twelve early childhood development units, so I really didn’t have much of a choice if I wanted to maintain my job. Attending college was no problem for me because again, college was always the plan. As far as it being a culture shock, I was used to being in an educational setting, and I never struggled with learning and excelling academically, but I was not familiar with the process and there was really no one to assist me so I had to figure things out on my own. My lack of knowledge as it pertained to understanding the college system, resulted in me spending an extra semester in school because during my first semester I was really just doing my own thing, without an educational plan. However, it turned out to be good because I graduated from junior college with two Associate degrees and a Psychiatric Technician certification all at once, so it actually worked in my favor in the long run.
At what point in your life and/or early career, did you feel “successful”?
Despite all of the degrees, certifications, knowledge, skills and experience that I have acquired so far, I still do not feel that I have achieved the level of success that I want. In my opinion, once a person feels that they’ve reached success, they become comfortable and content and they stop setting goals. I firmly believe once the goals on your action plan have been fulfilled, it is time to set new goals. I’ll know I’ve reached my pinnacle of success when I can stop working completely and sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labor, while continuing to make memories with my immediate family. Though I am proud of my accomplishments thus far, there is still much work to be done.
Was there ever a point where you felt yourself being pulled into the negative and considered giving up?
As a teenager dealing with the challenges I was faced with at the time, I do recall experiencing feeling like I was being set-up for failure, but I did not allow those moments to stop me from accomplishing my goals. I gave myself a few moments to sulk in my frustration, and I reminded myself why I needed to keep pressing forward. The many reasons I came up with were enough to motivate me to keep going. I have always been strong-willed and resilient, so I have never considered giving up. I could not afford to give-up then, and I cannot afford to give-up now.
What made you want to share your powerful and inspiring story in your book, Shaken, Yet Here I Stand?
After many years of working with children, at-risk teens, and families in crisis, it became apparent to me that my story was an inspiration to others who may have or may currently be dealing with similar challenges. I understand that not everyone is resilient and self-motivated, and some people really need the inspiration and encouragement from people like myself, who can relate to them and understand what they may be going through and how they may be feeling. I understand that some people just need to know that overcoming adversity is possible, but in order to believe that, they want to know that there have been people who have been in similar situations, who were able to overcome obstacles that threatened to break them. They want to know what challenges were faced and what steps were taken to conquer such challenges, so it was my responsibility to provide that information, through the sharing of my personal story. I understand my purpose and calling in life, which is to inspire and motivate others to strive to be their best selves despite the adversity they may be faced with.
What did your healing journey look like?
My healing journey required me to set aside the stigma of believing that therapy could not do anything for me, and understand that even people like myself, who have a background and education in counseling and therapy, are not above seeing a therapist themselves. I knew I had to give therapy a chance when I discovered that I hadn’t healed from the trauma I experienced as a child. I knew I was going to pursue motivational speaking, but I could not do that without healing myself first. I knew if I could not share my story without becoming emotional, I was not ready to face an audience, so I had to drop my pride and search for a therapist of my preference; if only to have someone to allow me time to just sit and process my trauma with. Once comfortable with my decision, I underwent several weeks of therapy, which allowed me to release all of the suppressed emotions. Even though I know the memories and feelings of experiencing years of childhood trauma may never go away, I am now equipped with better ways to cope with those feelings.
Where can our readers purchase the book?
My memoir entitled, “Shaken, Yet Here I Stand,” can be purchased on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and www.consultingdmorgan.com
Tell us about Dennis-Morgan Coaching & Consulting and what services you offer.
Dennis-Morgan Coaching & Consulting (DMCC) offers motivational speaking on various topics, with a target audience to include middle-school students through college students. Additionally, DMCC also provides professional development training for educators and social services professionals within various organizations.
How can our readers connect with you online and support your endeavors?
Though I am not a big fan of social media, I’m currently working to enhance my social media presence by increasing content output. The following are ways that readers can connect with me online.
Instagram: @consulting_drmorgan
Twitter (NEW): @DrShaneeCMorgan
TikTok: @consultingdrmorgan
What does your family life look like today?
Today, I am married with four children and we enjoy engaging in sports, extracurricular activities, game nights, dining out, vacationing, enjoying life and making memories. We are very supportive of each other and we enjoy our own company.
What would you say to a young girl growing up in a similar environment about becoming triumphant and not letting the pain envelope them and instead evolve them into greatness?
The only person who can stop you from becoming the person you want to be in the future is you. If you have goals and dreams stay focused, remember what your why is, and keep pressing forward. Understand that no one is exempt from experiencing trials and tribulations in life, and although there will be times when you have to take a deep breath and reset; no matter what you do, just keep going. Don’t ever stop pursuing your dreams!
