Our Commonalities
An early morning thought surfaced as I opened my eyes. In that hazy half-asleep way that we all have in the morning, I realized that by simply being human, I was essentially just like the women I work with day in and day out – human in the sense that most of their experiences in life (if not all) have been mine as well. I know that doesn’t sound terribly profound, but at that moment it became clear to me that our shared humanity is why our souls connect whenever a woman shares a story with me and waits anxiously for the expression on my face. When that anticipated shocked look doesn’t appear, she realizes that this is her key to opening the door and allowing herself to be truthful.
I recall a time when we were discussing fear and how it can poison our mind, body and spirit when we fail to release fear. Depending on the situation, releasing fear takes a great deal of courage. Currently I am dealing with a professional fear that could have both a positive and negative impact on my personal life. However, at the end of the day, the best thing for me to do is to:
1. Recognize truth and be truthful with myself and my expectations;
2. Create clear goals;
3. Seek guidance from others who will be helpful in my decision; and
4. Finally have the courage to make the decision when the time is right for me.
In the same manner that the ladies I counsel feel pain, I also feel pain – not only their pain, but my pain as well. For the past few months I have been struggling with the dissolution of a relationship. Severing those ties and moving on with my life took a lot of self-examination, honesty and courage. For me, the moving on took form in the words, “You hurt me.” Once I mustered up the courage to express those words with my mate, I found the necessary closure.
And we cannot forget all the tears that I have seen flow each and every time that I conduct a workshop or the pain I hear when I host a session on the phone. My sisters’ tears are my tears as well. Many find it hard to release tears because they are afraid to appear weak. On the flip side, others can’t seem to stop weeping because they have bottled up all that pain inside for so long. I will be the first to tell you there is absolutely nothing wrong with crying. I consider it cleansing, or detoxing, your body of the poison. Plus we must remember not all tears are tears of negativity. Tears of joy are a release as well – for instance, I cried copious tears of joy when I earned my business degree.
We have more in common than we give ourselves credit. We all experience pain, fear, and tears. Just because we may manage our experiences differently, does not make it less or more challenging. The take-way from this article is for you to consider the woman sitting or standing next to you who may have had a day filled with pain and fear and she is taking every last ounce of her energy to maintain her courage and not cry. Give her a kind smile even if she does not return it back. The warmth of that smile may be just what she needs to help her begin to release her pain. Remember, each of you has more in common than you know.
This article was featured in the March 2014 Issue.
