Saved by Love, The Freedom to Heal by Sharee McFadden
My heart got broken 5 years ago. I awoke to a call that my best friend, more like a sister, had tragically died in a fall. That day, my life changed forever. I stopped caring about life and everything in it. I was laid off from my 32k a year job, did the bare minimum with my son, and completely let all of my other community and social commitments fall to the wayside. The jovial, self-assured, social and dependable Sharee became a drug-abusing, self-abusing, withdrawn Sharee. One year later, my dad was shot and killed. My body, mind and spirit went numb; my heart, it had shattered.
In 2014, I took $800 and went on the trip of a lifetime; a 7 day cruise with my sister, brother, my best friend and their best friends. During that trip, my perspective on my life changed forever. While visiting a secluded beach in Nassau, Bahamas, I was caught up in a riptide and dragged out to sea. My brother, who tried to grab me to no avail, got washed out with me. After being tossed around in the undercurrent for about two minutes, I made peace with the fact that this was God’s will for my life. I would die in the ocean with my brother in the Bahamas. On an adventure. Feeling joy. Taking risks. With people I loved and who brought me light. I felt more peace in that moment, than I had ever felt in my life.
That was 2014 and I didn’t die in the ocean. Fast forward 3 years. I feel more free and alive than I’ve ever been. I haven’t traveled extensively, in fact the last trip I went on was to the Bahamas. I took that day and made it my mission in life to be at peace with whichever circumstances and situations I find myself in or that I put myself in. I stopped making excuses for why I was so weird. I stopped explaining to people that I find joy in the little things because I “beat the ocean.” I stopped taking things for granted the little things that made my life joyful and peaceful. I began filling my life with people, places and things that made me feel full. Things that fed my renewed perspective of positivity, joy and light.
Slowly, I stopped depending on what people said to build me up and began working on healing my heart. That meant being willing to fully face every pain and heartache that contributed to my heartbreak. See, when my dad died, I felt every emotion that I had suppressed and even emotions I didn’t know I could feel. To heal my broken heart, I had to deal with ALL of that. I had to deal with the hurt of using sex to fill a void of acceptance, love and control. I had to deal with the hurt of using drugs to “comfort” myself and replace the inner-turmoil I felt from the time I would wake up until the time I went to sleep. Once I acknowledged my hurt, accepted my hurt and owned my heartbreak; I began to heal my heart.
I’m still healing my heart every day. I find moments to be thankful for, no matter how big or how small. The perspective I’ve developed is this:
“Sharee, your healing is your responsibility. Your healing is your choice. Your healing is your priority.”
This perspective has changed my life. It has healed my heart. There were times where it would be easy to wallow in my sorrows, grief and pain. It’s become easier and easier, but I do still have struggle days. I’ve developed healthy ways to deal with those days, like practicing yoga, looking in the mirror and shouting out fake football plays or recite affirmations that I give my girls in my after-school program. I made my joy the most important thing in my life because I realized that without joy, I would not heal. Slowly, my broken heart has begun to heal. While I’m still sorting through the pieces, I’m releasing the explanations and adding exclamation points daily!
I love the freedom I’ve given myself to heal my broken heart by living a life for of joyful moments, without explanations.
Sharee McFadden is a public relations and project visionary who helps business owners see their vision clearly and works with them to develop a mindset that will help them to manifest their vision and make it plain. She strongly feels her purpose is to help infuse joy, hope and light into everyone she meets along her life’s journey. She thrives on connecting people and helping them bring their vision to life and holds a BA in Public Relations and concentrations in Professional Writing and Speech Communication. A mom with a heart for community and youth advocacy, she serves as a co-founder and mentor of YaYa Girls, an after-school mentoring and empowerment program. For more information on Sharee, please visit www.Facebook.com/makeitplainvisionbuilding.
