How To Deal with Jealousy!
Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?
Proverbs 27:4 (NIV)
Do you celebrate other people’s wins from the heart or do you secretly feel jealousy?
How do you feel when your friend, colleague or relative gets what you want? Do you struggle on the inside when someone overshadows you?
We are living in times when people are busy competing for the best things in life. This kind of competition is not good because people end up being jealous of each other. Now, it is not just unbelievers that struggle with jealousy, even believers do.
The Truth is Jealousy is rooted in INSECURITY.
in·se·cu·ri·ty- uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.
We become jealousy at times, but only a few of us will admit it openly. We fear to be judged, so we let these feeling grow on the inside. We would rather people see us as perfect Christian women than have them know our struggles.
We secretly compare our lives to others and feel bad when we see other sisters in Christ doing better than us. We get mad when our husbands talk to other women or when a friend gets married before us. Maybe they dress better than us, and we don’t like it one bit because we want to be the only ones people admire and look up to for fashion tips.
Sometimes we pray for the same things with our friends, and they get answers while we continue waiting. Other times our best friends start spending more time with other people than with us. So we become mad at them and feel jealous.
Either way, jealousy is a sin.
Now it is not a sin when you are tempted to feel that way. But when you allow these feelings to linger and start acting out based on how you feel, it becomes a sin. If not dealt with quickly it will cause you to stumble in your Christian walk.
Here are the reasons why Jealousy is a sin;
- Gossiping about others-Jealousy in a person will find a way to use words of slander about you behind your back. It’s hurtful, and the things they say can be malice.
Gossip most often shows us something that we are envious of. Jealousy can be a great teacher because it shows us what we desire. Our ego has the ability to criticize someone else, make an excuse for why they don’t deserve it through gossip.
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. Proverbs 11:13
When you fear to lose your position to another, then it means that you have a sense of entitlement to that position. Entitlement causes us to become prideful and egotistical. One of the things that God hates is pride because it causes people to stop being God-fearing.
Do not allow earthly things to come between you and God.
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. Proverbs
- Shows that you don’t trust God
We all have expectations, but God will not give us everything. When you become angry and jealous because of unmet expectations, then it means that you don’t trust God.
A woman that has put her trust in God will not feel jealous of others. They may be tempted to, but they will not act on it because they know that God is in charge and better things are coming their way.
You will also celebrate others with an open heart because you know that we are all God’s children.
- Jealousy ruins Relationships
God wants us to build relationships with others.
When jealousy clouds your heart, you end up becoming bitter and resentful. It is the complete opposite of what God wants from us.
Cain killed Abel because he was angry and jealous of him.
It can cause someone to plan evil against another person and even harm them. Let’s say you are jealous of someone at your place of work because both of you want the same position. You may end up sabotaging their efforts or cause them to lose their job.
So how should Christian women deal with jealousy?
Stop Comparing Yourself with Others
Jealousy stems from comparison most of the times.
You know when you sit there and start wondering how that woman got that position, and she just joined your firm recently. Or when the person who got saved the other day gets what she has been praying for yet, you have been asking God for the same thing for two years. So you start saying bad stuff about them behind their back.
Well, the bible says that those who compare themselves to others are foolish. Comparison in a way makes you live like a slave. How? Your life will revolve around other people and not God.
Comparison will make you live in disobedience because you will stop listening to what God is saying and start focusing on what the world and people are saying.
To be completely honest in this life there will be someone better than us in terms of skills, possessions, and beauty. Find out what God has planned out for you and chase that and you will have no time to compare yourself with others.
Focus On the Positive Things in Life
Sometimes we can’t help but focus on the wrong things in our lives. We do not understand why things are not working out for us. You are trying your level best but it is just not working, and God seems to be far away. So you become resentful and angry towards God and others.
Everyone goes through challenging times.
Start focusing on the things God has given you. Above all else focus on Jesus the author and perfecter of your faith, and you will find total contentment in him.
All these things are passing away so focus on the good things in life.
Ask God to Help You Deal with Jealousy
We love running to our friends for help, and it is not wrong, they help us to see reason even in difficult times.
But the best solutions come from God. He is a loving father that understands our weaknesses and is ready to help us. Prayer will not only change how you feel, but it will also help you see the best in people and situations.
We all belong to God so do not let the devil plant seeds of resentment and hate about other people in your heart.
Overcome jealousy with love and faith in God. He has the best in store for you.
